28 June 2013

Being shy

Howdy everyone,

Now that is a weird title for a post, isn't it ? But there is a story behind it.

I was just enjoying a hot bubble bath after a really crazy week at work (so glad it's weekend !) and as always I read a magazine while relaxing in the bath tub. One of the articles I was reading was about being shy and overcoming shyness and behaviors one might not be too happy with. And that made me think... I am not entirely sure if I really am a shy person or not. Or in other words: when I am shy, is it really my very own personality or do external influences decrease my self esteem and increase my panic mode ?

In the article they talked about how your core personality gets set very early in life and that it can be difficult but is still possible to overcome patterns in one's behavior.I agree with it but I also know it is tough. How I know that ? Because I have been there. I had times in life where I was very shy. I think shyness actually is another word for being scared. And out there, in the real world, there is a lot once can - in theory - be scared of.

Usually though, we fear rejection. No matter if it is talking to strangers, classmates, colleagues or the cute guy at the bar, singing your favorite song during karaoke night or wearing that cute top you bought abroad during last year's summer vacation but that's so not like anything people would wear in your hometown. What stops us from doing all these fun things is the fear of being rejected instead of accepted. But there is a way out of this misery. Maybe even more than one, but let's focus on one for now.

In my opinion, the best way to beat insecurity/fears/shyness is to be sure about yourself. A good way to achieve this goal is by focusing on something you are really passionate about. Let's say you want to dance but you are scared of people finding you hilarious instead of awesome. So you are too shy to hop on the dance floor and dance as if there was no tomorrow. What you can do is to practice dancing a bit. If you are too shy to ask others for help (friends, family, a professional dance instructor), go on the heaven of knowledge: the internet. Or more precisely: YouTube. There are plenty of videos that teach you simple but awesome looking steps you can practice in front of a mirror and show off on the dance floor once you are ready. Once you get to have fun on the dance floor you will relax at some point, forget about your fears and enjoy the evening.

If it is fashion related and you want to delve into a new style but are not sure if you can pull it off, either start step by step, for example by changing the type of shoes you wear, then you add a top representing your desired style etc. Alternatively, buy one or two complete outfits and wear them on special occasions such as meeting good friends or similar. You will feel more secure being with people you trust when you test the waters, so to speak.

As for the part about talking to strangers (or at least have long, meaningful conversations), I fear I still have to figure that one out myself. But do feel free to point me in the right direction :)

So long,


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